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I have forgotten to mention Breakfast with the President, a much-hyped tradition at Lingnan where students sign up to be invited to eat breakfast with the President of the university. He picked up the idea from a school where a president would slum it and sit down weekly for breakfast in the cafeteria, expecting students to spontaneously stop over. He believes this system (where students have to be motivated enough to sign up to receive a [presumably motivation-boosting] Official Invitation) to be a vast improvement. I’m skeptical. This is his last year at Lingnan so I’ll try to be candid: something the breakfast is supposed to promote.

1963

Meal review: Eh. Congee and fried dough good, sandwiches bad. We were told that the sandwiches are intentionally replacing bacon and eggs to keep us healthy. It would have been better to keep that from us and pretend that the tuna and egg canape is a traditional Hong Kong breakfast delicacy, as the mention of bacon and eggs came off to my stomach as an insensitive gesture.

Conversation review: Meh. We were invited to tell the President about our problems with the exchange process, and after most every one he explained to us how they weren’t really problems.

An amusing example is the class selection process. Exchange students are given a class list but no class timetable. When we send in our requests, we’re told that not all of them can be honored due to time conflicts, which never would have happened if we’d had access to a timetable. [WARNING: minor dramatic license follows]

Explanation: The timetable is set after class requests. A computer then schedules classes to meet 95% of requests. This is to prevent students from having the slightest bit of control over their daily lives. I mean, it’s to prevent students from “distorting their interests” by choosing classes that would allow them to schedule around jobs and such.

Problems: We aren’t allowed to take jobs. Either our requests aren’t entered into the computer system or the exchange students comprise the other 5% of students who experience conflicts. Teachers wheedle students to drop or change scheduled tutorial times because they want to schedule their classes around their lives. Computerized scheduling (my high school had a fiendishly complicated version of this) might work when everyone is supposed to be on campus every day of the week from time A to time B, but I think it’s a miserable idea in the university environment.

Counterpoint: Well, our system is what’s best. We know it is. And we’re hoping to make it even harder (read: impossible) to add/drop to make our system even more foolproof!

Problem: How about the dozen or so courses taught in “stealth Cantonese?” (where an “English” course consists of 2.5 hour discussions in Cantonese, or requires critical readings in Cantonese)

Counterpoint: That’s a problem with imperfect information [ha, what an economist!]. But our system is still the best. And please eat more sandwiches even though it isn’t yet nine in the morning, these piles look awkward just sitting on the lazy-susan.

As it became clearer that this was the standard answer, the conversation grew even more forced and awkward than the situation (honoring lowly students with an audience) dictated. All things considered, in my delectably humble opinion, university presidents would be better off taking the dining hall approach.